Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thursday Ramblings

I'm not going to start actual cycle posts until the start of next cycle. AF should be due on Sunday. I've  had these weird tests that look like they want to be positive but they're not.
A friend on a mommy page suggested its the antibody strip and I think she's right. I have a 50 pack of wondfos arriving on Saturday and I'm out of HPTs until then. It's probably a good thing though because I would go nuts testing. I have thought about maybe trying a different brand to see what those results are. Ugh this is frustrating!!!

Yesterday I was fiddling around on FB and in an hour I had 4 people announce pregnancies. As someone who is TTC after losses I have such mixed emotions. I'm excited but it hurts my heart. At least yesterday most of the people were past 12 weeks when they announced. I definitely get jealous when people announce at 6 weeks with no fears. My doctors say we shouldn't tell people until I am 16 weeks because of my increased risk of miscarriage. Gosh I don't want to go through that again :-(

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A little about me...

Although I am not new to TTC (Trying to Conceive), I am relatively new to blogging. I might do a Vlog too but I'm not the best when it come to technology. Anyways about me...

I'm a 23 year old mother of one. A is our 33 month old toddler. She loves animals and Bubble Guppies. My fiance C works in the oil field and has been amazing during our TTC Journey.

I'm original from the D.C. Metropolitan area and we are now living in Western MD. A was born in 2009 and her birth helped us decide to get away from the big city.

About a month before A's first birthday we got an unexpected BFP. Although we had not been trying, we had not been preventing a pregnancy either. We were shocked, scared, happy, you name it, we felt it. Days before her birthday I began to spot, since it was so early in the pregnancy the doctor did not think anything of it. In the very early hours of August 2nd 2010 we said good bye to our first Angel Baby.

That marks the beginning of our TTC journey.

We began to TTC right away. OPK's, BBT, Charting, Legs in the air after BD, you name it we did it. After 7 long months of BFNs we finally got a BFP on 3/9/11 with an EDD of 11/14/11. We were elated and the doctor said there was no reason for this pregnancy to not be full term. We even got extra ultrasounds.

I started spotting on 4/29/11 and the doctor prescribed me cyotec to help me pass the baby at home, this was our second missed miscarriage. The first dose did nothing and a week later on 5/6/11 I took the second dose and we said good bye to our Second Angel Baby at home. After this loss the doctor ran some tests. It appears that I'm healthy, other then my numbers being slightly off for a blood clotting disorder, which I now take baby aspirin for daily.

12/4/11 We got our third BFP since A. After everything we have been through it was hard to be anything but scared. The doctors saw me right away to get blood work done. We got an ultrasound right before Christmas and for 2 weeks after. On 1/16/12, just 10 days after seeing a healthy baby and heartbeat, we saw no heartbeat and no movement. On 1/26/12 I had a D&C. I will never have a D&C again. I feel I made a selfish decision to "get it done" because I was worried about it happening at school. The D&C was so final and really didn't give me the closure the natural miscarriages did.

3/1/12 marked that start of a new TTC journey. We don't know why we keep experiencing miscarriages. I am now taking baby aspirin, folic acid, and prenatals. Once I get a BFP I will be prescribed progesterone suppositories (yes, that means it goes up my hoo-ha).  We are not seeing a specialist right now, my insurance won't cover it, but we are in the process of finding an insurance plan that will work for us financially and cover the things we need.

*I wasn't going to share this but I think it is important* I had an abnormal pap in January and my colposcopy in March shows some high level cell changes which puts me at risk for cervical cancer. Part of me wonders if maybe these miscarriages happened so that we would find this and take care of it (I had not had one done since Jun '10) before adding to our family. We just got this news Monday, AF is due 4/1 so if I'm not pregnant I will have to have a LEEP procedure done. I'm pretty nervous about that because some of the side effects of the LEEP include pre-term labor and miscarriage. I'm still waiting for my doctor to call with the date of the LEEP, which I'm hoping is soon because I don't want to have to put off TTC any more then we have to.

Well that's my introduction to our TTC #2 Journey. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments!